Ok. Go.

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When I was 17 I collided with a goalie, connecting collar bone to foot, and hit the ground knowing, something in the top of my right foot wasn’t right. I took my cleat off and got to the sideline. Feeling the frustration you feel, when you let your team down, and even worse yourself. When the game ended, I headed to the hospital with my family. Unable to find any broken bones, I was wrapped up, iced and given crutches for the next few weeks.

I remember that pain that echo’d up my whole body when I received a pass my first practice back. I ran with this awkward stride, couldn’t find my sprint, and was ultimately so frustrated I almost cried. There is no feat like a physical defeat, when your memory knows what to do, but your body doesn’t have the power to execute.

A couple hours later practice ended, and as the rest of my team left to go home, I walked to the practice field to get reacquainted with my feet. After a couple hours of sprints and laterals, an assistant coach came up to me and said “What are you doing? Are you done running yet?” It wasn’t until someone else broke my focus that I woke up. It had been an hour or so, and when reality set in I almost collapsed. “I’m trying to get back” I said. He chucked, packed and moved on.

I look back on that moment in my life, not to take pride in anything other than knowing what capacity I have for wanting something so badly. You don’t know hungry until you can’t feed yourself right?

I entered into a new chapter in my life this week, and I can honestly say, I haven’t been this inspired, this hungry and this determined in a long time. I feel like myself these days, and that is a good thing. I’m motivated, not only by the weight of the opportunity that is in front of me, but also by the idea that I could fail. I’ve never wanted anything more that to be successful at the stage in my life I am currently in, and the gravity of my reality has hit me like a bus. I’ll tell you right now I want it. The best advice I received this week from a new acquaintance was: “Don’t F*ing Wait”… Here’s to not waiting.

Some sight’s and sounds to light a fire.

Collect: Life is a team sport. Never forget that part. 

Execute: How bad do you want it?

 

48 Hours.

I’ll be in love, whether you’re here or not.

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For the first time in years, I had a few mental days completely to myself. I wasn’t on anyone else’s schedule, I had nothing to study for, and I had no plans to attend to other than those I had made myself. The break in demands, resulted in several naps (like 3 a day), and some revelations on what it truly means to be at peace.

Admittedly, I like being overbooked, I like to work hard, and I like to go to bed at night tired, really tired. I do my best to find ways to slow my life down, but true to form things like running, and reading, inevitably become part of the schedule as well. Who I am constantly in competition with, I am not sure… But the last few days were different. They were literally a few of the best days I’ve had all year.

There were no repercussions for being absent minded, there was no order, and no to do list. Could I do it forever? Probably not. However there is something to be said about being completely present in your life, in the absence of all other demands. It made me begin to think about my life, where I am headed, and where I have been. How fortunate I feel to not only have the life that I have, but also the people in it. The time off gave me space to mentally wander, and an odd confession I dreamt this weekend, for the first time in probably two years.

I got to thinking- could I be this person always? When the proverbial plate starts filling up again? Could I still be this me? Being the type A personality that I am, of course I turned my 48 hour hiatus into a tangible goal. To work to be this version of myself even in the chaos. To be as in love with the small moments as the big ones, and especially find new value in time to oneself. What a gift I suppose it is to love, be loved, and left alone… I’ll be that person who loves you enough to let you be… or at least I’ll try.

Sounds from my weekend…

Live in Technicolor II-Coldplay

Cool-Anthony Hamilton

Shower-Becky G

 

Quote Week: Thursday

Thoughts on Creativity…

I read this article, this week and it got me really thinking about creativity. Not only as a quality, but also as a process. How the creative mind differs from the normative mind, and how one can benefit the other to find solutions and solve life’s mysteries. 

Can creativity exist without intelligence? Can intelligence exist without creativity? I think that is the question of the day. 

Let your brain chew on that one for awhile. 

xoxo-Grishley

 

Quote Week: Wednesday

 

Kindness you say? Kindness is a muscle you say?5e22023c7bc4c74663de47a0fecf672eI read this article last week, which in turn lead me to purchase this book.

The idea that resonated the most with me was that kindness is like a muscle. You innately have some and that is what keeps you alive, and yet if you practice it, the stronger it becomes, and the easier it is for you to be kind when you are faced with a challenge.

Got it. Run, sit ups, squats, push ups, kindness.

xoxo-Grishley

Quote Week: Tuesday

Thoughts on saying yes, instead of maybe.

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I’ve decided to motivate myself to say “yes” this year. To try new things, and to get a bit of exploration and adventure under my belt. The best advice I can give about saying yes- is to be smart about the stupid things you do in life. Take risks, but calculate them. When in doubt just toss yourself the age old question “What’s the worst that could happen?”

xoxo-Grish.